To My Angels

My dream is to have a greenplace. A building where can enjoy food, performing and visual arts, an office where dreams become reality and a flat for the dreamers to fall asleep and start bringing them all to reality. There is a garden, a workshop to make gifts and a shop for people to take gifts. 

In this place, we write on the daily basis our hopes and dreams. We will draw Plans and implement them. We will look at all we've created in awe and thank God for that we accomplished. I will one day take my last breath and be ever so grateful for all the people I met along the way including you, my dear children, the most wonderful gifts the world gave me to experience.

Some may wonder where this dream started. I was young yet I had a clear vision in my head about what it would look like.

The place to eat is at the bottom and has earthy, red, yellow tone. There is a large bar standing in the middle. The walls have beautiful paintings and as you walk through the place. there is a room at the back with a stage where singers, pots and actors can share their dream away. 

My team works and eats there as they take and meet with collaborators. They can also enjoy some breeze in the garden and the beautiful sunshiNe on their skin. One the first floor, stand a large office and two room/flat were people can gather.

These dreams becomes reality as we share in different stories of what the world can be. A better place for all. 

Then there is you. I always imagine at least 2 children, a boy and a girl who everyday change the lives of people around them and this for the better. You will bring joy and wonders to those around you. Your smile would be exquisite and your intelligence will wake up the most asleep souls to the beauties of the world. You will drink my milk coming from my breast and relish within the idea of living, what a wonderful to be alive you would think and each day with your smile you will bring to reality the most wonderful amazing and living adventures for us all. You will grow to become amazing humans beings ready to take over the world with love kindness and care. I so much look forward to meeting you. I know for a fact that together we will create something amazing and all will be in awe with what we accomplish and will be most importantly inspired to change one life at a time so that it is made of wonders, beauty and love. Believe.and hear my wish. I am ready. I am ready.

My first born my dear daughter. How are you today. You are well this wonderful. I am very good too. I think of you often and wondered when you will be with us. Your father ask why I've never asked him that he gave me a baby. Oh my. What should I answer to that. Ask him you tell me. Moussa, I want you to give me your child. I want you to give me the best version of yourself and for me to grow it within my womb. I want you to make me a mother mother wonderful one. The most beautiful and accomplished mother one can ask. Moussa replies. Dear Marie, by all the power I have in my heart, I am giving you the best version of myself, a wonderful child that will make this world, our world a better place. I have been longing for a child for so long. More importantly, I have been longing to become a father and I know within my heart that I am already one.

Nerida: it is good. Now what you have to do is to ask every person you meet to support me in coming. Just do it in your mind. So that you accelerate the process. Make a list of all people and imagine the new role they will play in my raising your child. How they will respond

Marie: OK. Let me start with.... making a list. Eugenie, nyota, sandrine, shqna, pierre, Sophie

Nerida: so what will happen when your mother will find out to become a grandmother

Marie you ask me as if you did not know already....

Nerida: she will say. Really you are pregnant. I knew you will have a child. Oh yes I knew that you will have a child. The question I ask myself is what type of grandmother would I be. Would I be there to support her when I have so much to do on my side. The paintings, the sauces and so much more. Oh my oh my. Am I ready to become a grandmother. I always wanted three children. But did I ever thought that my children will have theirs. How can I even comprehend that. I always stopped you to even think of having a child yet. I wanted you to study to work to get natried to have a home to earn always more money to support me to be my child but also my mentor mother at the same time. Now you will not look after me no more. You will have someone even more important than me I  this world. I feel even jealous that you will leave me and that you will look after a child. Oh my, I need ti change. I need to be happy. O need to grow. What type of grandmother would I be. Someone who knows how to let go of what I wsd to become the best version of myself. Oh my, I want to be the best grandmother ever. The one who inspire. Yhe o e that is loom up to for all that she accomplishes. Always and forever. From where to start. Accept the gifts that are given to me. Make lemonade with lemon and more importantly let go of the need to control. All hat passes. Learn to let go of all the things that hold onto. I will o e day at the time let go of it all to become the best version of myself and when my grandchild is here. I'll be the best as I cam be

Nerida what about your father

Marie. Isn't with you already? I know for a fact that is very excited to see how I am going to create with you a wonderful life. We are going to make it special

Nerida: you think so. I would have said awesome excited adventurous

Marie I align with this thought. I wonder how ready he is to send you

nerida: if it wad down only to hum  I'll have there tomorrow. Thee is other forces though that we need to take into account. 

marie: such as what

Nerida: well there is your brother

Marie my brother

Nerida: yes your brother need to go at the deepest of the sea and find withi  his heart is deepest power. It only start with his wish to have a greater life fir himself.

Marie you know that I am working on it

nerida yes I know there is a little more to do

Marie what needs to be done

Nerida: well a play, a script, a character that takes him from where he is to a better place.

marie: shall I wrote it

nerida: you shall write it together

marie: shall I suggested to him

nerida: the time will come.when you will find exactly what to write together.  When you will start something magical would happen

Marie: OK

Nerida: just say him. Would you like to write a story with me.

Marie: OK 

...

Marie: pierre would you like to write a story with me

Pierre: yes let's write it. Tue story of our family.

Marie: yes let's do it.

Pierre: I already started and in this story. There is you moussa and two wonderful children. I am an uncle. The cool uncle working in cinema, travelling travelling the world. Finding Finding treasure. Everywhere. Anywhere. Shall I be Indiana Jones

...

What about money Nerida

Nerida: what about it... me and you know it will be fine, more than fine actually. Everything is already flowing towards you

Marie: trul, yes I know

Nerida: are you thinking about creating and supporting me to become the richest person in the world

Marie: oh yes

nerida: well. It is all about the surprises

Marie. The surprises.

nerida. Always nourish the idea of surprises, it will make me believe by always good thing are coming. For example if you are always putting a pound away for me and raking out some money for things on the day to day basis. Let's say you put aside a 365 allowance a year. The  you could when I am 7 at the age of wisdom, give me all the money to manage. Then you could wait again when I 16 to give me another surprise. Just tell me, think carefully about what you going to spend your money on. 

Marie. I could do that indeed


 Caring. I will have so many gift to give them. Me and time. Ia  ready cos I already let go of being a mother. I am a grandmother


Yellow and green colour take our breath away. 


On the last floor, it is my family home, a large flat with large bay window that give us a view onto the world. white is the key theme. there is a cocoon room and two bedroom a large table and bar, a piano in the corner a large sofa. a bathroom and loos maybe too. I feel great in this place and powerful. Where this place is. somewhere sunny not ffar from the sea. because we have to always be in touch with infinity. This is my dream and I shall reach it as soon as I can. If not I know in the next life, ill be there already.


To Ambre et Jade



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Self-Made:

King Kong Theory by Virginie Despentes and the Use of Language

What a pleasure to be shaken by the poetry of a person. Virginie Despentes poetry is raw, harsh, vulgar and abrasive. I discovered that we can write and speak like that, still, be whole - a whole woman that is loved and revered - or in the patriarchal world, a target to stamp on fingers, tongue or vision because it is not (a) lady-like-(we want in this world) - pure injustice.

About King Kong Theory on Wikipedia

Language... Upbringing in different social classes and education give different opportunities for exploration in the depth and breadth of language. 

When first arriving in the UK, I could not speak English fluently and worked with other foreigners in large warehouses full of computers and/or clothes: picking, packing and controlling stocks over day/night shifts. My uniform, a yellow vest, t-shirt, jeans and work boots. I even drove a PPT moving pallet across the shop floor. After a year, working in this environment, I succeeded an English test to start university. In this first year, I made friends there and then, and did my best to pick up the language, be understood and liked. Swearing words were my go-to - to fill the gaps, express my emotions and make people laugh. One day, I got stamped on by the men at uni I believed 'loved' me:  'you are so rude' they said, it is not ladylike, they said, 'you need to watch your language', they said, 'do not speak to us like that' -

Which lady are they talking about?

I chiselled my language - worked harder at writing and speaking Lady-Like English. Would it be ever perfect? and Perfect for who? Them, Me? Context Matter

What about having a release:

Shit...

Fuck...

Shit...

Fuck...

Stupid...

Shit...

Fuck...

Stupid...

Dick...

Man, Shut the Fuck Up Stupid and Leave Me alone Dickhead

Eat my Shit

(hahaha)

Thank you Virginie Despentes





Move The Car

Genevieve was a fierce driver. Born on a farm in 1910s, she first ran a cart with a donkey across her village to pick and drop children. She learned then to drive at age 15. We could find her running the little and big roads night and days with friends or first lovers. She eventually married a man who loved cars as much as she did. After WWII, the birth of three children and better prospects, she got herself a dream car: a cabriolet for her own usage. She would put suitcases and children in the car and drive to the seaside for the summer holidays. She loved the speed, her gloves on the steering wheel, her glasses smiling at the sun, the music in the stereo, the wind in her hair and the laughter of her children excited by the adventure. 

She shared her love for cars with her children. She would take her sons to the car shop to admire the beautiful cars. Every Monday, she and her first son were off work. They would go together to visit the car shop and admire the most luxurious cars. Her second son also loved cars and would spend all our travel talking about all the ranges. They are such beautiful beasts offering so much freedom to those who can move them. What about her daughter? and Grand-daughters?

I dream of her saying to her girls:

Shut Fear, Scrutiny and Criticism

Move the Car... 

Go for It... 

Let Go of Fear... 

Get Yourself a Better Car...

A More Expensive One... 

A Shinier One... 

You Deserve The Best... 

Move Your Attitude...

Dream Big...

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Review

''A great short read and I thank already the person who made me read it''
 
Released in 2016, the book is a very short adaptation of the TED talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie of the same name. She talks of her experience of sexism growing up in Nigeria and how it has affected her life. It discusses why we still need feminism and why each and every person should be a feminist.

My cousin, french-born, of Ivory Coast origin, black educated young woman handed the 50-page long book along with another stack of books about feminism and declared: ''this small book is a great introduction to feminism''. She was surprised that I have not read any of those after sharing my thoughts around gender, race and class. I tend to use the lens of convivialism as opposed to feminism in my philosophical exchange. 

I remember discussing with a researcher an academic position I was seeking and the lecturer made it clear that they were looking for someone who is a feminist and she asked: you are a feminist, don't you? I was slightly taken aback by the question. Am I a feminist? and What does that mean?

In my search for answers, I read many articles, books, ended up watching amongst other documentaries: the Red Pill A Feminist Journey in the Male Right Movement? My feminist research journey pretty much stopped there afterwards. I was disenchanted by the exacerbated violence between men and women for power. I wanted to be enthused by the friendships, collaboration and care between men and women for a fairer world tinted by equality, love and justice.

Reading this short introduction over the Christmas period gave me some good renewed perks as my dream for a fairer world remains. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie ask:

''I would like to ask that we begin to dream about and plan for a different world. A fairer world. A world of happier men and happier women who are truer to themselves. And this is how to start: we must raise our daughters differently. We must also raise our sons differently . . .''

Are you dreaming too?








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