marle feed

The poor old man is still not feeling well - yet, he is waking up to the fact that there is no where to go - hopefully, he will be awake soon and we will experience less up and down. I am on my way too. This weekend, I strived to be pragmatic. We had a repair event this weekend. Few people came over to get their item repaired. We received £40 of donations. The repair event only happen once every 6 weeks, it is a great opportunity to learn something, have a nice chat with people and get something from home sorted. We started to work on my laptop. We took all the data out for me to transfer on another device. We will work on it at next event on the 25th March. I had few pieces of fabric to deal with at home. I have made 4 dolls, two juggling balls, a bracelet. I started cutting off some felt to make some pads. I cooked, cleaned, prepare myself for the week to come. Hopefully, it will be a good week.

Pragmatism, the way forward. I am trying to say the least. Yesterday, I cleared my desk. Apart from few imagery on my walls and pictures of friends and family. I removed all books and paper. Someone I met told me that a desk is for working, it is not a filing cabinet. So I am following his predicament. I am better than yesterday morning. Today when I woke up, I did some yoga. I saw some cereals in my pantry and brought them to work. I made myself a bowl. It was nice. It is a nice morning. It will be a good day.

Yesterday has been quite debilitating.  I was not really functioning. The pain in my heart was too strong to possibly do anything fruitful. Death has not yet strike in my life, yet the thoughts that my father might not recognise me next time I see him. It is a bit too much to take. Live in the present. I repeat myself. Be pragmatic. Pragmatic, adjective: dealing with things sensibly and realistically in a way that is based on practical rather than theoretical considerations. My thoughts are theories on what may happen next and all that I missed to do in the past to may be change the now. They are theoretical suppositions and yet they hurt so much.

I have one year left to finish my ph.d. My topic is on the factors influencing consumers to repair small electrical products. It is linked to this concept called the circular economy. It take a pro-conservation lense as opposed to a pro-growth  focus. but you will soon understand after reading how the three years went that it is all a mirage. My first year was special. I organised a festival. It was called the Green Festival of Making and Mending, here in Leicester. It was the birth of me. a painful birth but nevertheless worth it. I was trying to manage as best as I could my voluntary activities with university. I was trying to find my voice in this mess called the literature review. It was a struggle but I manage to get there eventually.  I believed that all humans can acquire new skills and flourish by working together. It is through this mean that we can make our time here better and help generations to come to live longer and safer on this planet. I wanted to organise more event

There is nothing like a funeral to put things into perspective. The coffin is lying there reminding us that whilst life throw at us the good and the bad, in a moment it is all gone. We have only the memories of the dead to linger on. Only one thing can be said If you are alive today, give us through your actions the necessary wisdom to grow kind and patient to make our short journey on earth memorable

It is 8.12am. in 18min, we will depart the station. The suitcases are in the trunk of the coach. We are now waiting to get ourselves on board. We are not in straight-line in front of the coach's closed doors. We are sheeps awaiting for the barrier to open to get to the next field where the grass is greener. This is desire for you. This is hope of getting a nice seat. Fear that you won't be seated next to the window. Petty goals.

When it is good, it is so so good. You are in nirvana as you live for a second or two right now. And then before you know it, It's gone. Accept it. Do not look back. I can't promise that they will be some more enlightenment tomorrow. Yet if you start dancing and smiling, it will be so so good.