Move The Car

Genevieve was a fierce driver. Born on a farm in 1910s, she first ran a cart with a donkey across her village to pick and drop children. She learned then to drive at age 15. We could find her running the little and big roads night and days with friends or first lovers. She eventually married a man who loved cars as much as she did. After WWII, the birth of three children and better prospects, she got herself a dream car: a cabriolet for her own usage. She would put suitcases and children in the car and drive to the seaside for the summer holidays. She loved the speed, her gloves on the steering wheel, her glasses smiling at the sun, the music in the stereo, the wind in her hair and the laughter of her children excited by the adventure. 

She shared her love for cars with her children. She would take her sons to the car shop to admire the beautiful cars. Every Monday, she and her first son were off work. They would go together to visit the car shop and admire the most luxurious cars. Her second son also loved cars and would spend all our travel talking about all the ranges. They are such beautiful beasts offering so much freedom to those who can move them. What about her daughter? and Grand-daughters?

I dream of her saying to her girls:

Shut Fear, Scrutiny and Criticism

Move the Car... 

Go for It... 

Let Go of Fear... 

Get Yourself a Better Car...

A More Expensive One... 

A Shinier One... 

You Deserve The Best... 

Move Your Attitude...

Dream Big...

Freedom Time - Revisited

September is always a special month. It is the beginning of the artistic season. In our family, it was always the month when my father would also present a new production.

For the first time, In September, this year, I am delivering a show - an exhibition to be exact called Stories of Change. 

My brother is also opening the season with.a play called Catch! at Le Theatre de La Tempete directed by Clement Poiree and I shall join him in October to watch him.

The old man would be proud!

So yes, I feel supra connected to him this month at so many different levels.

On the 6th September 2018, I wrote an article called Freedom Time - We heard you.  about a message my father passed to me and my mother in his cloud. The article included my response to his message.

He said: 'Why do you stay at home? You and Marie Toto. You have to come out of the house sometimes if you want to start collaborating with people.''

My response in summary was "at home I can be the whole me'', yet finished the article by saying that '' I heard you and I'll come out of my shell more, get my voice heard and become as organised as those waging the war of minds''

Now, I can say that I can collaborate from home, got my voice heard and that both inside and outside I am whole.

I pleased to say that a lot has changed since writing this article in my psyche and spirit. It is nice though to be reminded that our place for both my mother and I is outside of our house so we can find new collaboration to get our story and ideas to be heard.

Not at home...

Listen Lauryn Hill, Freedom Time

Cat 2

It's been another day of everything - running around not even hearing the outside world. I have my headphones on. My phone is constantly buzzing in my pocket with notifications,reminding me of the things I need to do, to know, to fill today. It is a matter of trying to detach myself from all the thoughts going through my head. Get the MIND silent, feel my body, the motion of my joints, and the breeze of the wind in the ocean of people and cars.

Writing a book about Leicester Fixers and Repair

Writing a book for a general audience came into my awareness for few weeks now with friends suggesting to turn my doctorate into a book. Then, I was invited to celebrate a girlfriend birthday in Nottingham. Unable to drive to the destination, I was picked up by a newly published author. We spoke all the way there and back about the process of writing a book and some of steps involved in delivering the written product. In the evening. I discussed some of the elements with another friend who told me that she will help me find the necessary funding to make this happen. My first book is about Leicester Fixers, Repair, the Doctorate and more. I want to be able to raise some funding to continue and expand the development of sustainable communities within Leicester,  Leicestershire and Rutland. Through the book, I want to be able to raise necessary funds to do this. Fingercrossed, this will be possible. 

If you would like to support me with this project, please do not hesitate to get in touch.

if you write everyday, you will write a book

My uncle and beautiful writer, Emile Biti Abi, writer said "if you write everyday you will write a book"

If you write everyday, you probably wrote already many books.

Tell me which story are you currently contributing to? 

Amazon Smile does not make me smile

 Thank you for sending me an invitation to shop at Amazon Smile so that your charity can get pennies out of my purchase. I am appalled by the effort. I will make sure that you know the ten reasons why Amazon Smile does not make me smile.

1) Amazon does not pay their taxes appropriately in the UK to support vital services for people. Their scheme is a pittance compared to what they could contribute to the global society. They send gift hampers to our MPs to get more tax breaks.

2) Out of £1000 purchase, as a charity, you will get only £5. How sad?

3) Amazon subjects workers to poor working condition across the world. How can you as a charity demand social justice and yet spit on your efforts?

4) Your charity is eating away your supporters' desire to give more to you. They will feel like ''oh well I am buying through Amazon Smile so, I do not have to give more. It is another ''slacktivism'' example whereby people become less charitable because they get the feeling that they are charitable by giving your charity... just nothing?

5) If I donate to you, I expect that you spend more time and energy developing schemes that support local regeneration of small businesses that contribute back to you and not give to Amazon who ultimately sends the money back to Luxembourg.

6) Is Amazon the kind of corporation with which you want to align your nonprofit?

7) With all the local shops closing in the city, why would you provide more free advertising to Amazon?

8) How many women and children work in deplorable conditions to make the products we buy on Amazon?

9 ) I wish you could use your mailing lists more effectively and use your time more effectively to leverage donations directly to you and not through a third party. 

10) If your charity is supposed to be supporting women and their families in a specific area, why would you not support the economic infrastructures of those areas?

I could keep ongoing. You are supporting Amazon to colonise every space, and unfortunately, you participate in the suppression of other human's expression of goodness and kindness.

https://www.alancantorconsulting.com/2014/12/no-dont-smile/

https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20191210005333/en/Amazon-Surprises-Hundreds-of-Charities-by-Fulfilling-Their-AmazonSmile-Charity-Lists-this-Holiday-Season

https://johnkenyon.org/why-amazonsmile-doesnt-turn-my-frown-upside-down/

https://www.businessinsider.com/how-does-amazon-smile-charity-donation-work-2018-5?r=US&IR=T

https://medium.com/@digitalculturenyc/why-nonprofits-need-to-stop-falling-for-the-amazon-smile-scam-f68d389c801c

https://nonprofitchronicles.com/2017/03/28/why-amazon-smile-doesnt-make-me-smile/

Always Expect the Unexpected - Purge Update

Message of the week

Always Expect the Unexpected

What happens this week with the Purge?

1. I sold a lip butter set, a suit and a skirt.
2. I received a bid on a T-shirt, a trouser and a dress.
3. I received a warm message from Jill, owner of MeganMakesGood about the shop. She found my blog through my FB. It warmed my heart. First, because it is nice to receive some feedback from you do, Two, I did not know anyone would read about what I do on FB.
4. I packed my good and made on more cyclop card for it and went to the shop.
5. I spoke with my friend designer Zosia about developing the visual design of the shop
6. I received a message about purchasing one of my dress and send it to Mauritius - Oulala I smiled, can you imagine me selling a £1 dress and send it to Mauritius...
7. Total sale this week: £19
8. Number of Visits on Blog: (I Don't Know) The total page view of the blog is 12,747

What am I going to Improve on?

• How can I organise my packaging better?
• Create a space in the office for packaging
• Cut off plastic bags for reuse
• How can I promote the shop better and be more confident about it?
• Share the message with other about the shop. I am still a bit shy to actually share it to people around me. 
• Write up a script to let people know about the shop so I can feel more comfortable
• First fill up the different platforms with your goodies and then start talking about it with people once you are ready
• Reconvert Ms.Cyclop to be the shop?!?
• What can I share with people that are valuable?
• I was thinking to write a book and sell it. I came across the owner of Electric Kitty who wrote a beautiful children book about child bereavement. It is such an important message to share.
• The other thing I was thinking was to share plants. I can easily grow them...I can easily share them. 
• When do you start taking a beautiful pic of you and your stuff
• M and I we have been discussing taking nice pictures of the item I want to share with people. He is a great photographer and I would like to look like Beyonce... 
• Who would you like to collaborate with and what would it look like?
• I really want to. I was thinking to create a small community of people who help each other with swapping 1 hour a week of time to promote each other shop... Let's see who I could talk to.
• What do you want to do about creating the visual of your shop
• I am still thinking. I am thinking though to maybe start first with filling all platform with the good I want to share and then if I have more money coming in, I can start talking with Z about making my shop better. 
• What do you want to do about the blog?
• I am still figuring it out. At the moment, it is just for me to keep a track record of what happens week to week. Eventually, it will be nice to write proper articles about sharing and caring about one another and everything that there is around us. 
• I haven't figured out how to do that yet. Maybe once I have filled all the different platform with the things I want to share. I can go back to the blog and figure out what exactly I want to write about.
• Something unexpected is going to come and I will figure exactly what I want to write about on this blog.

What are you grateful for?
The gift and surprises I receive everyday.


For you, reader!
Check MeganMakesGood Shop if you want ssome handmade Goodies
Check Zosia if you interested in graphic design
Check Eletric Kitty book in the Stars
Do you want pictures taken for Wedding, My husband is a photographer... Get in touch for more info
For Beyonce... well you know....
Do you want to feature? Let me know
If you want to give me any suggestions on how to move forward with some of the questions I am asking myself, please do not hesitate to let me know

Scared to change - the opposite is true part

I lose relationships. It is the beginning of new possibilities for change.
I control, manipulate so that only the people who are ready to change stay. I deceive, reject so that only the people who want to stay, stay.
I am decisive in the way I deal with others. I always play my parts so they can grow.
I love transforming. I allow myself to lose any parts of who I am so a new side of myself may emerge. I know when this happens, it creates havoc in people's lives so they realise that they have to change too. I deliberately choose to be whatever I need to be so I can grow and evolve as well as all the people around me! It is unsafe, risky, naughty. I love it, it makes me so happy, I am meeting everyone's expectations and beyond. I am experiencing deep relationships with people who stay, I am opening new doors to opportunities. Those who underestimate me, better watch out, I will force them to find their path to happiness there.

Scared to change - the opposite is true part 1 #relationships #opposite #truelove #fear

I fear losing relationships.
For those reasons, I can be controlling, manipulating to keep them and/or I can also be deceiving and rejecting people so I do not have to go through the heartache of losing them.
It makes me quite indecisive in the way I deal with others. Shall I play along or shall I not?
The unfortunate thing is that I also act out of fear with parts of myself. I do not allow myself to evolve because I am scared of what will emerge, I am scared that the real me will create havoc in people lives and make it worse, I am scared of myself. So I choose deliberately to be small, insignificant, ugly, unreliable, poor, untrustworthy, lazy. I do love to be all those things. It is safer for everyone, Yet, weirdly enough, it also makes me unhappy that I am not meeting some of partners expectations. I am losing those relationships, I am closing doors to opportunities. Those who believe that I am so much more than what I chose to be. I create Havoc there.
It appears that I am never going to make anyone happy anyway.
The only person that I can make happy is myself.

Read Part 2

And if i am unable to control ny emotions

If I am unable to control my emotions, what shall I do about it?
Am I really just a bad person, a crazy person, an hysterical person to just get angry sometimes. Am I just someone to give up upon? Shall I just stay alone so that I ensure that I hurt no one. Shall I just stop talking so I ensure I hurt nobody. Shall I just disappear so everyone can get on to get the life they always wanted to have and be with people who never get angry sometimes.
I feel like I am so undeserving of anyone love. I destroy everything I touch. My heart is so broken with disappointment in myself. I feel like there is no way out.
Whatever I do, I am constantly reminded how disappointing I am as a person.  even trying to fake what I am does not work, the real me -emotional, outrageous and angry- always comes out and wreck everything. How can i trust others if I cannot even trust myself, my actions, my judgement? I am constantly reminded how blind, unaware,unconscious of the reality around  me?

I want peace.
I want peace.
I want peace.
I want to be happy with who I am.
I want to love what I am and do
I want to forgive myself for it all.
I want to open my heart to the possibility of being a more loving person.
I want to find out what the world is really about by travellong and meeting new people?
I want to trust that everything happens for a reason.

Seeing a goddess

She is the most beautiful being I have ever met. The strongest so far.
She has been completely destroyed by life. Yet she has this beliefs that God is part of who she is. He is in her heart. It is through what she does each day that he expresses himself. She keeps reminding me to breathe in the goodness and to strive my best to love truly who I am and to be here in the present.

Broken heart part 2

We felt slightly restless. Once more. In our holographic plane, they appeared.

She was working on removing each stone and transforming them into wonders of nature. As she took a rest and look at the sky. She saw the bird holding him, watching her working. He was upset. The bird had no specific expression. She on her side started to feel restless and before she knew it half of her garden transform itself back into stones. Seeing this, he shouted, I want to disappear. He did. The bird stayed on.
She then prayed that the bird join the man and transform itself into a human form so they could join in love.
The bird changed into a woman and disappeared. Her wish was granted.
As she looked around the garden now turned into stone. A stone asked: would they come back? They are with me in spirit, they know I love them

Broken heart part 1

We decided to destroy the wall in our mind and use the stones for the foundation of something greater.
*
*
*
They were hurt. Their hearts were bleeding. A wall was erected to ensure that no more damage could be further made. A small bird was sitting on a wall passing messages between the two hearts. As the messages went back and forth, the wall got taller, the hearts got weaker and the bird got bigger. They could not see the truth. An attempt was made by one of the heart to put a window to speak directly to the other one.the other heart got scared and said "please bird, take me away?" As the heart by the window saw the heart and the bird leaving. She wept "if only I had the strength to destroy the wall".
*
*
*
A stone spoke to her "pick me up I am a stepping stone to your recovery''. And so the heart, pick up one by one each of the stone to create the foundation of something greater. It is only the beginning of the journey said one of the stone. The broken heart smiled knowing deep inside that a paridise will be built.
*
*
*
Will the bird and the heart return? She asks herself. One of the stone told her to not dwell on the possibility. Her paradise is to be built for her and those who wish to be there. She should let go of any attachments on the outcome. She smiled knowing that her heart will be mended soon

Next Life - the virtue of rationality

Correct me if I am wrong.

Is your self-interest to be successful in what your heart is set in to achieve?
Are emotions from the past clouding your judgement?

One advice to you - Play the Game of Reason!

Are you impulsive? Are you repeating old patters that make you runhappy.

Remember your ultimate purpose, being happy, creating a dinasty, having numerous collaborators and successful venture.

Focus on the present, rewrite the past and the future is yours.

Your children and connections will be inspired by the strength your display in creating the life you have always dreamt of

The virtues of Ayn Rand may support you in implementing the life of your dream:

*Rational (use our thinking)
*Independent
*Have integrity
*Honesty
*Justice
*Productiveness
*Pride

Embrace them and transform yourself

The encounter

Sunday afternoon,
The diary says that she needs to be at her certain place at a certain time to meet with some people. She is also required to bring something to eat. She jumps into the car and goes to her local store. There she walks straight to the reduced section.
In front of her, a man, late 40s, blond hair, broad shoulders. She freezes. She knows that man. She does not know what to do. Say hello. Smile awkwardly. She turns around, grabs the first packet of crisps she can. She is hoping he did not see her. She can hear his voice talking to the cashier. She has a hat on, she s unrecognisable. She walks hastily to the car, gets in. She waits for him to leave. No encounter. We are all saved.

Her body could not lie, she is connected to him for life. It was a gentle reminder that love s everywhere to be found

What people said

R: do not pay too much attention to people opinions. They all have one and they are all different so do not take it too seriously

J: to be self-employed, you shall have more than one client

Z: I shook tree and drew dicks on cars when Warsaw was under a spell of snow

M: you are crazy

B: I want to learn the guitar

J: I have no money in my bank to pay you

E: I am tired

R: if someone tells you about what people say about you, do not trust them and do not pay attention to what they say

J: I am a psychic this is my special power

Z: there are a lot of pages to fill if you want to get a British passport

M: I am leaving to A.

B: I want to stop smoking

J: I am not working on Sunday. This is why we going out tomorrow

E: he bought us ticket

Is it a worthy battle to re-engage with those you have pushed away

This morning I ask myself whether I could make peace with all those I pushed away. Is it a worthy battle to engage in. Do I still need them in my presence now? My heart tells me that what was done taught me many things. I need to accept the learning and move forward. If the chance is given to me, I will meet the people I rejected again and we will be able to make peace there and then.

What defines us is how well we rise after falling

 

Put yourself in my shoe.

You will see life from a new height

Did your glass got filled with emotions today?

Yes!