Zero Suicide Alliance - Free Suicide Awareness Training

On the 10th September 2022, it is World Suicide Prevention Day

Let's Talk about Suicide and Make it a preventable death!

Thanks to Zero Suicide Alliance for providing training, evidence-based and interactive resources for supporting communities in preventing suicide.

Follow the three steps - SEE - SAY - SIGNPOST - to prevent suicide

Notice if someone looks tired or irritable. Ask the person if they are OK, we shall show our concerns and invite them to share their feelings. If through the conversation, we notice that the person does not feel that they belong to a family or a group, they feel like a burden. We need to identify the latter as a risk factor a person does not feel that they belong somewhere.

There are more information and cues in the training and I with all my heart invite you to complete it and share it with others.

Suicide is a preventable death - Let's Talk about it

Training here

Lightseekers

Lightseekers is a creative social enterprise that uses photography and storytelling as a platform to learn about and engage with important social issues. They specialise in cross-cultural education and deliver thought provoking programmes to low-income areas, where creative engagement is low and students are likely to experience exclusion and discrimination.

How did I get involved with Lightseekers?

I started Yoga in 2019 while finishing my doctorate and I met Kajal Nisha Patel, founder of Lightseekers and yoga teacher at Nilu.Yoga. The rest is history. We became friends and collaborators through the Breaking the Silence Initiative at Quetzal. Over the pandemic, we discussed in great details the impacts of poor mental health on wellbeing and physical health. Through our discussion, a project started emerging that will become Ways to Wellbeing - a 9 online session programme providing the tools and knowledge to communities to enhance their wellbeing. She invited me to become a director at Lightseekers in 2021 and we delivered the project that same year.

Activities

2021

• Ways to Wellbeing
• Bhensexplaining Kitty Party

Learn more about Lightseekers

• Instagram

Ways To Wellbeing

 Ways to Wellbeing is a 9 online session programme delivered by Lightseekers in May 2021 featuring 10 practitioners

The project aimed to equip communities with  techniques, knowledge and information to support individuals and communities in their journey towards better mental, physical, social, environmental and spiritual wellbeing.

The project was funded by Near Neighbours.

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A post shared by Founded by @kajalnp (@lightseekers)

Understand what is yours by using mindfulness and self-observation

Your emotions are yours - a construct of your mind and gut layering upon your eyes a tinted vision of the world and their objects. Are you getting infatuated or obsessed with an object or a person? What do you observe that you find attractive? What is it that you feel that you are missing and observe in an object, situation or someone else? Are you just addicted to the highs and inevitable lows of idolising an object of desire?

Best to take responsibilities for your feelings. What about searching within your body, the high that always keep you high regardless of what is happening outside of yourself. - Meditate - look inside of yourself - use your sexual and creative energy to keep creating within yourself the good feeling - nothing outside of yourself can top the love that you feel for you first. You will never feel lonely after that. 

Message of the Week

The message of the Week

To Support the Transition towards an Happy Sustainable World, Be a Better Friend

So many questions - not many answers

What is right?
I have been doing some yoga today. It felt very good. It was really what I required. My body felt so achy from sleeping in the bed. It was not great. I have managed as well to finish and send my chapter to my supervisor. I am going to be able to actually start working on my discussion. I also started to work on putting items on sale on eBay which is always good to. Not only eBay but facebook as well. I am actually quite happy, I do not have a phon at the moment. Samantha sent me some money and this is good too.
I also realise that maybe I should sell the item I have instead of offering them to people around me because this is what I need at the moment...
What is wrong?
Nothing really my knee is better. Just my body aching a bit
My hair though not great
What is missing
A mattress topper and a conditioner for my hair. Some nice food as well for me and Moussa to eat. Another thing that is missing is another 2000 on my bank account. It would be nice as well to get a yoga mattress plus gloves for the album and a product to clean the pic.
Have a longer read on the extinction rebellion movement
What is confused?
How can I sell more items on eBay?
What type of business are you going to create?
The type of career that I want. When am I going to leave divya
How am I going to get involved with the extinction movement?

Time to eat

You wake up, have a bowl of porride. It is 7am.

10am comes, you are hungry again. Are you really? 

You may just be thirsty. 

Wait at least 6 hours before your next meal.

You cannot sleep properly. One reason. Technology

You cannot sleep properly.
One reason.
Technology

They Suppress Melatonin.

The blue light emitted by screens on cell phones, computers, tablets, and televisions restrain the production of melatonin, the hormone that controls your sleep/wake cycle or circadian rhythm. Reducing melatonin makes it harder to fall and stay asleep. Most Americans admit to using electronics a few nights a week within an hour before bedtime. But to make sure technology isn’t harming your slumber, give yourself at least 30 minutes of gadget-free transition time before hitting the hay. Even better: Make your bedroom a technology-free zone—keep your electronics outside the room (that includes a TV!).

They Keep Your Brain Alert.

It may seem harmless to knock out a few emails before bed or unwind with a favorite movie, but by keeping your mind engaged, technology can trick your brain into thinking that it needs to stay awake. And if you’re surfing the web, seeing something exciting on Facebook, or reading a negative email, those experiences can make it hard to relax and settle into slumber. After spending an entire day surrounded by technology, your mind needs time to unwind.

They Wake You Up.

Just because you’re not using your cell phone before bed doesn’t mean that it can’t harm your sleep: Keeping a mobile within reach can still disturb slumber, thanks to the chimes of late night texts, emails, calls, or calendar reminders. About 72 percent of children ages six to 17 sleep with at least one electronic device in their bedroom, which leads to getting less sleep on school nights compared with other kids, according to their parents. The difference adds up to almost an hour per night, and the quality of snoozing is negatively affected too. To get a better night’s slumber, parents can limit their kids’ technology use in the bedroom, and mom and dad should be solid role models and set the tone by doing the same.

Are you a workholic?

A workaholic is a work-obsessed individual who gradually becomes emotionally crippled and addicted to power and control in a compulsive drive to gain approval and public recognistion of success according to Dr Barbara Killinger.

If you recognise yourself, it may be worth checking out her work in more details and why not doing this test

Learning the Violin as an Adult

It is now approximately a year and six months that I am learning to play the violin.

I started the violin because my friend and now tutor shared with me her philosophy of teaching children to learn this musical instrument. I was taken by what she shared with me. It resonated because I was experiencing difficult life events at the time, learning the violin appeared to be a potential solution to my problems.

She told me that she teaches the violin through the Suzuki method. Her main role as a teacher and mentor is to help her pupils to deal with and express difficult emotions through music. Learning the violin is hard and going through life is not always easy. Hence, being mentored and equipped with the skills to deal with those difficult emotions are an asset which is not only useful in playing music but also in dealing with difficult life events.

When I started to learn the violin, I was in a dark place. My father had just been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia and I could not find a way to deal with the way I feel. She helped me in many ways in being present in the moment, in focusing my mind, in recognising where in my body I was feeling tension and pain, in focusing on the details to keep going when the overall picture was boring, to accept imperfection and appreciate the little and small achievements.

The road is long til I become ready for full concerto but I must say I revealed to be quite a good player.

Ultimately, learning to interact with an object such as the violin or one direct environment demand full attention. I was distracted by emotions that were not helpful in moving towards my goals. By learning the violin, I became aware of how much distracted I was. I became aware that I was getting distracted because I did not want to deal with difficult emotions in my being. I learnt to reduce distractions and deal with them. I gave my experiences new meanings which ultimately transformed me. I am now present for the better.

Horrid Airbnb Experience - Getting in touch with Airbnb

After our adventure with B., the recovering alcoholic, I decided to look through Airbnb for some cues on B.
The profile of B. appeared OK. the people on the page did not complain of any issue with him whatsoever. Only one person said that ''he could not stay anymore in their property'' - does that mean that he could stay because he wrecked the place? or because they had a change of plan?

Who knows.

I could not even bring myself to put my dirty laundry out on Airbnb.
B. has mental health issues. Am I the one who needs to make this personal matter public on a social media platform?  So I wrote '' B. cannot stay in my property anymore and I hope that he will find a group of people who will be able to support him''. Is it the appropriate language to use?

I contacted Airbnb to let them know about B. - they gave me a call and kind of told me that I need to be careful with the people I am bringing to my home. I told them, yes but there was no indication that this person was poorly. Furthermore, don't you have a policy against discrimination on the basis of someone health?

Airbnb is a fabulous tool for people to share their spaces with others and learn from them. Yet, we have to be prepared to deal with some of darker side of what it means to be a human. I can not even imagine the number of people with no family and who are maybe sick who use Airbnb to have somewhere to sleep and have some sort of social support. Yet, if left alone, they go to annihilation. If I knew about B. situation, I would not have left B. alone in my property. But I did not know...

Mental health matters and within the use of the digital platforms, we need to discuss how people who may poorly use them to meet some of their needs and with this knowledge figure out how services providers could possibly support them better. Let's think

Failed to quit smoking, Learn to Breathe Instead

I thought I'll share my experience in trying to stop smoking and what was the trigger to completely stop.

I have been up and down in regard to trying to stop smoking completely in the past two years or so. I'll stop sometimes for a month, then start again, then stop again for another month. I'll smoke sometimes only over the weekend, then stop again for few days. 

My body was so confused that I caught some chest infection and got pretty sick.

Nevertheless, I kept going on the smoky ride.

I was fed up and wanted to really know what was going on.

Time for reflection. Is it because of others? Is it because I am depressed? Is it just the addiction?

Then I came across a video about breathing and how beneficial it is for the brain to breathe properly.

I read around the topic of breathing from a medical and spiritual perspective taking into account studies made on yogic breathing techniques in tackling depression and other health issues. 

I reflected on how I breathe when I smoke. The truth is it is when I inhale and exhale the smoke that I fully pay attention to my breathing. I like the feeling of my lung getting filled with air and I stop there and then paying attention to my list of things to do. But wow, smoking is horrible for my health.

So I decided to stop focusing on ''stopping to smoke'' but instead focusing my energy into learning to breathe properly.

Right now, It has been not even a week, I stopped. I am giving myself a lot of fresh air by inhaling and exhaling deeply in order to get calmer. 

I am taking some honey to heal my lungs, I am going for long walk in the forest to breath some fresh air. I try to stand up more to breathe with my belly and not with my chest.

We will see how I can keep going.

I'll share in a month or so how learning to breathe again is helping me leaving behind one of the biggest compromise I have made to calm myself down i.e. > to wreck my health through smoking.

Phone addiction - No Solution for that - Only a discussion

Phone addiction is real and can wreck relationships

Google - My spouse can't get off of his phone onto google. You will be surprised by the number of hits for that particular sentence. Men and Women are complaining about their spouses spending more time with lovey Iphone, Sexy Samsung and Cheeky Sony than them.

So what is the solution to that particular problem?

Well, there is no magic pill to end an addiction to a phone.

The conversation around phone addiction shall not be about looking for a solution. 

It should be about humanity and its relationship with technology and other human beings. 

We have to find a consensus on what is the role of technology in our lives and if they are detrimental to our progress, we should question their existence and/or their features. Personally, if technology incites division, isolation, addiction, argument, dispute and possibly hatred, well bin it.

Largest Fearless Life Goal - To Enjoy Life

One of the most ranked life goal on ranker.com is to Enjoy Life.

It refers to Being playful, carefree, lighthearted, enjoying life; being spontaneous; exploring, being adventurous; having an exciting, stimulating life; to live for today; devoting time to amusements, recreation, entertainment, hobbies.

In other words, live with the flow and take what comes with a light heart.

To achieve such a state, there is something to work on on the daily basis.
This is to be fearless or more appropriately to transform what we fear into a source of excitement. 

Did you know that we release the same chemical in our body when we are scared or excited?

Remember the feeling when you are on a rollercoaster! You know this moment when you sit on a ride and it starts moving up the slide... all your body is alert, full of fear and excitement for what to come and then it goes down, relief and release of the emotions in a BIG SCREAM or LAUGH!

As new things come into your life, do not jump with fear, jump with excitement. 
It is something new to make you grow and teach you how to enjoy life as it comes

So here it

Enjoy lifeBe fearlessLive with excitement
and when the spark goes, appreciate the moment

Breakwaters Sound

The temptation to build walls at sea to protect beaches to be eroded seems to be a perfect plan.
However, can one really breaks water from its natural course? The sound of the waves crashing onto the walls are a good reminder that the force is still there and this is only a temporary solution.

It is not that different from trying to build a shell around oneself to deal with difficult emotions. The sounds of words outside the shell can easily break in and tear apart the walls we have constructed. Before we know it, we are consumed and annihilate from the inside out.

What to do?

Plant some seeds of wonder. Water them with your emotions. They may grow into trees so you can keep yourself grounded. Soon, there will be a forest, the bird will come, admire the chef d'oeuvre and sing altogether the tales of the one who stopped fighting water.

Change the world a nap at a time

Do not give up on the possibility to share your voice when you are tired.
Just shout out loud: ''I am Tired - ''Leave me Rest'' - ''We need to change for a restful world''
Overworking, overstressing, overdoing, overdose it comes, your body will let you know sooner or later that it needs to re-energise itself.
Change the world, by taking the chance to rest, a nap at time.

Noticing emotional abuse and doing something about it

It did not occur to you that you could be possibly abused by the people you love.

Scenario 1 you are already in your bubble of low self esteem. something is not good enough, you are the one to blame by your next of kin with inappropriate comments,  you throw a tantrum, they tell you to grow up and you reflect on your behaviour rationalise it all and say you are sorry and that you will do everything to change.  Then it repeats itself until you do all the cleaning, children rearing and for some reasons you are still not good enough. Poor you, you are such a victim.

Scenario 2 you are busy doing something for yourself,  someone come into your space and tell you that they need your help, they even manipulate you saying that you'll be able to work on ur stuff later, that they really need you to drop them to see their sick mum or to look after their kids cos they need to go to a party, you want to say no but you say yes because you don't want them to think that you are not a nice person. When your turn comes to ask for help, no one is there and you wonder I helped everyone but no one cares for me and my problems and you start blaming them to not being nice to you. Poor you, you are a victim.

Just stop it, happiness cannot be reach by being nice all the time, you have to be angry sometimes to confront irrespectuous and blood sucking relationships. Set your boundaries and experience joyfullness a once you've reached your goals.

Be a badass and ensure no one get in a way of your greater purpose.

When low self-esteem is always on the corner

Self-esteem is a term used to describe an individual's sense of worth or personal value. Low self-esteem can impacts an individual performance when studying, working, managing their personal affair or relationships. For me, low self-esteem is always on the corner, and everyday I need to work at it. let me tell you what causes low self-esteem, my personal stint with self-esteem and how I try to fight it off every single day.

What causes low self-esteem?
The way a person feels about themselves is linked directly to their experiences and how they deal with situations :

• Unsupportive family and carers play an influential role
• Friends with negative influence
• Stressful life events such bereavement, moving houses, relationship problems, losing a job 
• Ongoing stress
• Poor study or work performance
• Mental health problems
• Physical health problems
• Financial issues
• bullying or abused
• loneliness
• ongoing medical issues
• Experiencing prejudice, discrimination sigmas

What's it like to have low self-esteem?

During my Mdes in Design for Innovation and Sustainability at Cranfield University, I was surrounded by some peers who were just simply racially insensitive, and experience constant micro-aggressions. Then, not having the expertise in your area of study - i.e. Design and being surrounded by very talented designers, you just ask yourself why are you here? There is also the feeling that you may never fill the gaps between the rich and the poor when you notice first hand the big gaps between supra rich and privilege students and the others, then you look at your own bank account, and yes you've taken a loan to complete your studies.

What it is like? Heartbreaking. Physically, it is like, you heart is breaking into two and sinking inside your thoracic cage. I had constant feelings of sadness, anxiety, shame and guilt of not being good enough. I also preferred being alone most probably because I felt unwanted, and I had a lot of negative self-talk. I

How do you improve your self esteem?

Mind gives quite a lot of tips such as being kind to yourself, taking care of oneself appearance, trying to notice the goods things building a support network, engaging with therapies, setting yourself some challenges.

For me, I learnt to be kind to myself by getting to know myself better through journaling and engaging with new activities. I started volunteering for Transition Leicester and Positive Money to build a supportive network in Leicester. I learnt to notice the good things through gardening and minimalism.  and I set myself challenges such as trying to obtain a Ph.D sponsorship.