The formula as you enter the chamber

Here it is, your first day at work. You enter the chamber. No one notice you. There are all busying talking to one another. It is a networking event. You do not know anyone apart from your boss. He is busy chatting up with who you assume is one of your colleagues.
What to do?
You are a competent, warm person you tell yourself, walk up to your boss and say hello. The machine will start spinning from there. Or grab anyone and start up the conversation. It is an opportunity to start forming alliances in this competitive room. How to do it?

Maurice Schweitzer, Ph.D. and Adam Galinsky, Ph.D. suggest in their book ''Friend and Foe'' that the scientific formula to gaining people's trust more quickly is to strike a balance between warmth and competence - so that you seem credible but also human.

Introduce your talent, keep smiling and be genuinely interested in what the person is sharing with you. It will take you places.

What is your job you do?

What is your job you do? Where do your work? are probably the hardest questions to answer to in a short sentence. It is great when you have a title, it gives a splash of your awesomeness in the face of your interlocutor. I am 'Consultant Associate'. I am 'Customer InSight Officer'. I am 'Data analyst Manager'... ( in your face) . Where do I work? I am a flexi-travelling worker. I mainly work from home. BUT, I also work in various places in the Midlands (Leicester, Northampton), also London, I jet set to Paris and Amsterdam sometimes... ( splash in your face) ... Those two questions are set to gauge both interlocutors' status. It is quite sad, the longer the title and list of places you go to, the more you appear awesome. Truth to be told, I love working from home and have a family to come back to after a long day making decisions. In my own perspective, the question should be reframed to 'What are you passionate about?' At least, you will connect mo...

Are we good friend?

A friend came to visit. She brought flowers and a card. Inside the card, she wrote that I was an amazing friend. To her, at least. It is normal to question yourself on the quality of your friendship and whether or not you are a good friend to other people, are you doing enough to engage, support, celebrate others when they go through major transition? How much more can you do while racing through life, its responsibilities and distractions? A good tool to use for reflection is the theory of attachment to understand yourself and how your type of attachement impact on the quality of relationships. Have a look and let me know what you think?

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