A wall is between you and those who may be able to help you.
It feels like you distance yourself from what it could be made possible with the support of others.
Why is that?
What are you scared of?
The bad grade, the criticism, the rejection.
Get over yourself. they are not your saviour.
They are no one.
If they cannot help you, someone else will because they want to.
So give it a go, here is a hammer
Break the wall.