Today, I've received an email from a friend and professional contact I appreciate and care for and also with whom I had on different occasions some tensions and disputes.
When I read the emails, a thunder of emotions passed through me, a multitude of voices entered my mind all roaring despicable words.
My first reaction was to follow the most basic instinct and to send an email that look as ugly as the emotions I felt.
Then the 'Marcus Aurelius' inside invited me to write and reflect in a notebook - What is it that I want?
What I wanted was to speak to the person in question to let them know that I care for them.
They did not answer the telephone
To distract myself, I then turned to Youtube and as I was browsing - Carl Jung' serendipity came through. I came across a video produced by Arte: How can we have a disagreement well? where Maxime Rovere, philosopher, and author of ''Wishing each other well and doing each other harm. Philosophy of Dispute - delineated his theory.
What a revelaation and a breeze of fresh air
It seems my mode operandi to deal with conflict through reflection and taming the multitude of voices inside was the right way to deal with whatever trigger I felt when first reading the email. I also learnt about abstraction, the focus on a single issue, and imputation, the way we attribute the fault to others when we feel pain instead of taking responsibility for our own suffering.
In all, I have more tools in my hand to deal with whatever issue that arises by deciding who I want to be rationally and emotionally.
I invite you to find out more about the philosophy of dispute
https://youtu.be/icZNfugCBIU?si=S7DBSAypEa0MFRzN
Wishing each other well and doing each other harm. Philosophy of dispute - Maxime Rovere
Comments
Post a Comment