Skip to main content

Wishing each other well and doing each other harm. Philosophy of dispute - Maxime Rovere

 Today, I've received an email from a friend and professional contact I appreciate and care for and also with whom I had on different occasions some tensions and disputes.

When I read the emails, a thunder of emotions passed through me, a multitude of voices entered my mind all roaring despicable words.

My first reaction was to follow the most basic instinct and to send an email that look as ugly as the emotions I felt.

Then the 'Marcus Aurelius' inside invited me to write and reflect in a notebook - What is it that I want?

What I wanted was to speak to the person in question to let them know that I care for them.

They did not answer the telephone

To distract myself, I then turned to Youtube and as I was browsing - Carl Jung' serendipity came through. I came across a video produced by Arte: How can we have a disagreement well? where Maxime Rovere, philosopher, and author of ''Wishing each other well and doing each other harm. Philosophy of Dispute - delineated his theory.

What a revelaation and a breeze of fresh air

It seems my mode operandi to deal with conflict through reflection and taming the multitude of voices inside was the right way to deal with whatever trigger I felt when first reading the email. I also learnt about abstraction, the focus on a single issue, and imputation, the way we attribute the fault to others when we feel pain instead of taking responsibility for our own suffering.

In all, I have more tools in my hand to deal with whatever issue that arises by deciding who I want to be rationally and emotionally.

I invite you to find out more about the philosophy of dispute 

https://youtu.be/icZNfugCBIU?si=S7DBSAypEa0MFRzN

Wishing each other well and doing each other harm. Philosophy of dispute - Maxime Rovere


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What did I learn from analysing my expenditure after a year

In the following blog post, I share the results of two analysis. The first one is an analysis of my spendings by categories after a year, the second is analysis of what I want to achieve by category. The analysis contribute to my main aim which is to achieve financial independence. I am currently trying to pay a debt - 12K for a student loan. To do the first analysis, I downloaded all the statements from my current account in an excel format. I assigned a category to each entry. What are the results? I  allocated 18% of my resources to my loan and the same amount to travel to France and have a couple of trip in the UK. I spent more money on conspicuous consumption than food. I did not have many outings that involved financial expenditure. What am I missing? I haven't got a good idea of what all the cash I have taken out was used for. A part of it must be to commute to work, then it is a mix of food shopping, outings, shopping and more outings. For the second analyy...
Post a Comment
Read more

Scared to change - the opposite is true part 1 #relationships #opposite #truelove #fear

I fear losing relationships. For those reasons, I can be controlling, manipulating to keep them and/or I can also be deceiving and rejecting people so I do not have to go through the heartache of losing them. It makes me quite indecisive in the way I deal with others. Shall I play along or shall I not? The unfortunate thing is that I also act out of fear with parts of myself. I do not allow myself to evolve because I am scared of what will emerge, I am scared that the real me will create havoc in people lives and make it worse, I am scared of myself. So I choose deliberately to be small, insignificant, ugly, unreliable, poor, untrustworthy, lazy. I do love to be all those things. It is safer for everyone, Yet, weirdly enough, it also makes me unhappy that I am not meeting some of partners expectations. I am losing those relationships, I am closing doors to opportunities. Those who believe that I am so much more than what I chose to be. I create Havoc there. It appears that I am nev...
Post a Comment
Read more

Emails only on Monday

My new experiment for productivity is to send emails only on the Monday to my collaborators. Today was my first day sending emails to everyone. What can I say, it was intense and at the same time so rewarding. I feel that my list of things to do for the week just reduced dramatically by just dealing with all my planned emails first. Now I can focus on reading, planning and more. The plans for the rest of the week is to read through email 1hour during the day to see if there is anything urgent.Otherwise, they'll be dealt with next week.  What about you? Have you got a productivity hack?
Post a Comment
Read more