Is it a worthy battle to re-engage with those you have pushed away

This morning I ask myself whether I could make peace with all those I pushed away. Is it a worthy battle to engage in. Do I still need them in my presence now? My heart tells me that what was done taught me many things. I need to accept the learning and move forward. If the chance is given to me, I will meet the people I rejected again and we will be able to make peace there and then.

First kiss

When did you first fell in love? What happened? My first love was Jeremy a sweet love until we were shamed in front of the whole class for inappropriate behaviour. We kissed

aubergine bake

xxx-ooo

Criticism of Utilitarianism - link

https://www.utilitarian.org/criticisms.html
http://www.webpages.uidaho.edu/jcanders/ethics/outline_of_some_classic_criticis.htm

Problem: Consider the following two cases:

1. Elderly Aunt Molly is ill. Nephew Tom visits her and helps her because he loves her. Nephew Bob visits her and helps her because he hopes to be rewarded in her will. Nephew Dave visits her and helps her not because he desires to help but because he believes it is his duty. (Modified Version of case by Bowie and Beauchamp, Ethical Theory in Business (Englewood Cliffs: Prentice-Hall, 1979) 16-17.

2. A two-year-old is drowning. Ruth flings caution aside because she desires to save the child and jumps in, but she cannot swim. Thus, she fails to save the child. Sue can swim, but is afraid that the child will pull her under. She does not save the child.

The consequences were the same in each case, but the motives of the agents were different. According to utilitarianism, each person's action was of the same value. Shouldn't other features such as an act being motivated by obedience to a law of the state, a religious obligation of loving the neighbor, or a natural love of and concern for others count?

B. Response:

(1) "...the motive has nothing to do with the morality of the action, though much with the worth of the agent (Mill, "Utilitarianism," Chapter 2 in Solomon and Martin, 322)." Consideration of motives is relevant to judging the worth of persons, but not actions. Utilitarians are "aware that a right action does not necessarily indicate a virtuous character, and that actions which are blameable often proceed from qualities entitled to praise (Mill in Solomon and Martin, 333)." "...in the long run the best proof of a good character is good actions; (Mill in Solomon and Martin, 333)."

(2) Often when motives are used as a standard, what is really involved are emotional reactions of approval of disapproval that vary from person to person or obedience to different understandings of what God or conscience requires. Thus, the same action, when motives are considered, might be judged to be right and wrong at the same place and time as with helping Aunt Molly.

(3) Another problem exists when we transfer our approval of consequences to motives. The same motive in another case, however, might lead to negative consequences as in the example below.

(4) A counter example to the case of Aunt Molly is when the motive is the same, but the consequences differ. Bentham invites us to consider the motive of self-preservation. It leads to bad consequences, if it leads you to kill the only witness to your crime. Good consequences, if it leads you to fight heroically in defense of your country in a noble cause, etc. 

Non repair is immoral. The motivation to not repair because of fear has to do more with the worth of the agent than how immoral it is to not repair.

Killing someone is immoral. killing someone because of money has to do with the with the person worth not the action
Using the motivation as standard confuse us in determining what is the right or wrong action a. it clouds our judgement because we find that people's emotional approval or disapproval varies depending of their circumstances.

So many questions - not many answers

What is right?
I have been doing some yoga today. It felt very good. It was really what I required. My body felt so achy from sleeping in the bed. It was not great. I have managed as well to finish and send my chapter to my supervisor. I am going to be able to actually start working on my discussion. I also started to work on putting items on sale on eBay which is always good to. Not only eBay but facebook as well. I am actually quite happy, I do not have a phon at the moment. Samantha sent me some money and this is good too.
I also realise that maybe I should sell the item I have instead of offering them to people around me because this is what I need at the moment...
What is wrong?
Nothing really my knee is better. Just my body aching a bit
My hair though not great
What is missing
A mattress topper and a conditioner for my hair. Some nice food as well for me and Moussa to eat. Another thing that is missing is another 2000 on my bank account. It would be nice as well to get a yoga mattress plus gloves for the album and a product to clean the pic.
Have a longer read on the extinction rebellion movement
What is confused?
How can I sell more items on eBay?
What type of business are you going to create?
The type of career that I want. When am I going to leave divya
How am I going to get involved with the extinction movement?

Reviewing MBA thesis

I inform my good friend that I  have been tutoring students for their master thesis.

I truly enjoyed the experience in helping the students embrace academic writing.

Two weeks later, he asked me to review his MBA thesis before submitting it.

There is nothing better to tell a story to others for opportunities to emerge.

I am receiving his work this weekend, we shall see how the experience pan out.

I may offer my services to a wider audience. Interested? send me a buzz on Twitter ;)

This is a blog for you if

This is blog is for you if you are serving families, mother, father, children in Leicestershire to
- To take care of what we have in common: The planet
- To encourage them to be open and inclusive of others
- To support them in sharing their gifts for the local economy to be more resilient.

If you tick more than one of this boxes, i am inviting you
- To Get inspired by the stories of people who are in Leicestershire trying to enact change and empowered people to direct their lives
- To share those stories to people around you so they can get inspired
- To submit your story.

Why? Because the power of stories can change the world as long as they are shared widely.

So get sharing!

About me

My name is Marie. I live in Leicestershire since 2012. In my first year of arrival, i engaged with Transition Leicester, Positive Money and Footpaths Leicester. I ran the positive money leicester group.  I organised events, a discussion group and the Money workshop to help people reflect upon their relationship with money. I also train as a facilitator to run a Footpaths group to support group and families to reduce their carbon footprint. End of 2014, Zina Zelter from Footpaths and I, we decided to run a year of events culmutating into a day of festival: The Green Festival of Making and Mending. From the festival, Leicester Fixers emerged and has been running Restart Parties since May 2015. In 2018, The project received a grant from Leicestershire County Council to help set up 6 repair communities across Leicestershire. It is currently the main project I am working on.

Apart from those projects, I work and study. I freelance for The Crop Club a social enterprise which supports people to grow food. I have a certificate in Permaculture and teaches from time to time at the Permaculture course in Leicester. I am also a doctorate from Loughborough Design School. My thesis is on the factors influencing user repair propensity. I support students with their work.

Outside of it all, i am a keen dancer (salsa), a beginner violonist, i draw with wax crayons and garden. I live with my husband, embrace our mixed heritage and spend lot of time with our family.

in facilitating a Footpaths Leicester grouprun projects to engage family's members with different communities of knowledge and this mainly through events.

The blog provide an account of the progress of some of the projects and how you can get involved and it features different initiatives in Leicestershire that engage the public on enbironmental and social

Time to eat

You wake up, have a bowl of porride. It is 7am.

10am comes, you are hungry again. Are you really? 

You may just be thirsty. 

Wait at least 6 hours before your next meal.

Do not borrow the traumas of others to justify your own personal vendetta against men

An evening like no others with 3 girlfriends talking about life, how we feel etc.

Then it goes slightly sour.

E. shares the story of her daughter Z.

Z has always been a bit weird with low self-esteem. She is quite involved with the feminist movement and has some double standards on what people cannot say (i.e. sexist remarks) and what she can say (i.e. insults). She had recently some issues with her father and brother. She shared with her mum that she felt that her relatives were sexist and she did not feel comfortable around them. E. feels that on one hand her daughter may be mixing some of her past personal issues with her dad and brother with the feminist narrative. On the other hand, she feels remarks that may not be appropriate needs to be confronted.

She discussed with her son and husband. The son recognised that he probably went a bit too far. He was upset and words got muddled. The father on his side is on the defensive and try to detract the conversation on another topic.

The other topic is '' why muslim women in a niqab wear make up? Isn't it because they still want to attract the male gaze''.

The first reaction of my three girlfriends is that he is being sexist. On my side, I am like no - he is just being on the defensive and ignorant. If you pay attention to the question, it could be the beginning of quite a in-depth debate between two people.

Here comes the shock, I do not agree with their interpretation. To convince me, they use examples of women who suffer traumas from men (i.e. rape) to compare and explain why his comments is inappropriate. They said - well you know 1 in 3 women are victim of rape, his comment is a bit like if you are wearing a skirt and you are getting rape is your fault''

I am like ''do not borrow the traumas of women who suffer at the hands of criminals to justify your own personal vendetta against men. This is just plain Cray-Cray. Men and women criminals exist and they remain the minority in this world. so get over yourself. His comment is nothing like a crime. It may be offending to some but it is not worth labelling him as a sexist.''

Then as the conversation went on, I realise that their own negative personal experiences with men were muddled up with feminist narrative. Their own feelings that they were no good enough for society compared to men made them forget about all the privileges they have compared to them. They also forgot how similar they were to ''the other''. They said to me that men were not able to deal with their feelings and emotions and I was like.. ''well the main reason we are meeting right now is because we were not able to tackle our feelings on our own. so why are you saying that you are better than them.''

The conversation went on and on. They were sorry to make me feel isolated and in the corner. I told them straight, I am not a victim. We are having an adult conversation about a clear issue of misandry disguised under the narrative of feminism. You seem to not like men. For you, men are the plague of women in the way they speak and behave themselves. I do not share your view. They are beautiful. Our focus should be in giving them greater opportunity to be sharing their lives with us and their children instead of sending them away to work everyday. So you can get to know each other more and stop your non-sense''

Yumchi Binge Kept me Awake

It was long day yesterday.
A beautiful day though.
Work was done, meetings in the sunshine with collaborators, long walk with those we love.
Then the thought came around 7pm - ''I need to cook now'' -
Then the thought arose - ''I am soooo tired''
Then the thought emerged - ''let's binge''
and we did, it was fabolous...

But I ate too much, I could not sleep.
Now I am so tired. I can still feel the pasta in my belly. Why did I do that to myself...

You cannot sleep properly. One reason. Technology

You cannot sleep properly.
One reason.
Technology

They Suppress Melatonin.

The blue light emitted by screens on cell phones, computers, tablets, and televisions restrain the production of melatonin, the hormone that controls your sleep/wake cycle or circadian rhythm. Reducing melatonin makes it harder to fall and stay asleep. Most Americans admit to using electronics a few nights a week within an hour before bedtime. But to make sure technology isn’t harming your slumber, give yourself at least 30 minutes of gadget-free transition time before hitting the hay. Even better: Make your bedroom a technology-free zone—keep your electronics outside the room (that includes a TV!).

They Keep Your Brain Alert.

It may seem harmless to knock out a few emails before bed or unwind with a favorite movie, but by keeping your mind engaged, technology can trick your brain into thinking that it needs to stay awake. And if you’re surfing the web, seeing something exciting on Facebook, or reading a negative email, those experiences can make it hard to relax and settle into slumber. After spending an entire day surrounded by technology, your mind needs time to unwind.

They Wake You Up.

Just because you’re not using your cell phone before bed doesn’t mean that it can’t harm your sleep: Keeping a mobile within reach can still disturb slumber, thanks to the chimes of late night texts, emails, calls, or calendar reminders. About 72 percent of children ages six to 17 sleep with at least one electronic device in their bedroom, which leads to getting less sleep on school nights compared with other kids, according to their parents. The difference adds up to almost an hour per night, and the quality of snoozing is negatively affected too. To get a better night’s slumber, parents can limit their kids’ technology use in the bedroom, and mom and dad should be solid role models and set the tone by doing the same.

Cluttered house - The list

I have made list of 20 things I am currently choosing to ignore:

• my need for laziness
• my need for peace
• my need for flexibility
• my need for escape
• my need for laughter
• my need for sleep
• my need for dancing
• my need for travelling to places
• my need for movement
• my need for telling my truth
• my need for drawing and arts
• my need for visitors
• my need for money
• my need to share my crafts and arts
• my need to communicate with others the way I feel.
• my compulsion to distract myself from the environment I am in
• my feelings, my emotions
• my need for collaboration and support
• my need for care and compassion
• my need for change

My five top one are - my need for laziness, my need for escape, my need to communicate with others the way I feel, my need for support and collaboration, my need for sleep

I feel that I am tired. I am overwhelmed with tasks to do, this creep up in my surrounding environment, I feel slightly overwhelmed and cannot sleep anymore properly. it shows in my house as I just want to be lazy and more flexible in what I do. I need to share that with others so I can get better support and delegate!

Cluttered House - What are you choosing to ignore?

Your house is currently cluttered and messy.

From your perspective, clearing it out is far from being your current priority as it stands, you are too busy taking over the world.

Yet, the people around you are starting to feel the brunt of your lack of presence in space and time.

You do not even notice the mess around you because you only think about what needs to get done in other aspects of your life.

How can you possibly rectify that so people around you can focus on supporting you in your scheme as opposed to the mess that they can see around you?

It appears your level of tolerance is far higher than them.

You just feel things are going to get together eventually or maybe you are in denial, who knows.

You may be choosing to ignore critical issues to protect yourself.

And so, here is the question to answer

- What are you choosing to ignore? list 20 things

Once you have answered those questions, rank them in order of importance. Pick the 3 top one and focus on resolving it!

Disconnected from nature and other people?

Get out of your house...
Get out of your office...
Get out of any man-made buildings
Talk to the first stranger on the path.
Ask him where is the best place to visit around here.
He will tell you where to go next.
When you arrive at the destination, ask the next person, where is the best place to visit around here after this one, he will tell you where to go next...

Feeling ungrounded? Bring a plant in your space

If you are feeling a bit dizzy, anxious, spacey and ungrounded for most of the day. In other words, if you are feeling like all your problems are in a cloud above your head and you cannot be fully present where you are, get a plant in the room, look at it and remind yourself that you are rooted in the current space and time ready to deal with the task ahead. Your problems of yesterday are gone until then...

What to do when your family do not agree with your career choice

Just do it.

but please, do not do it prove them wrong or try to gain their approval later down the line. 

You may never get it

Just do it because it makes you happy.

Do not talk about your goals with them, it will make them upset for no reasons.

Focus on you ought to do

Are you a workholic?

A workaholic is a work-obsessed individual who gradually becomes emotionally crippled and addicted to power and control in a compulsive drive to gain approval and public recognistion of success according to Dr Barbara Killinger.

If you recognise yourself, it may be worth checking out her work in more details and why not doing this test

How to stop worrying about Money

One of the best ways to stop worrying about money is first understanding exactly what it is and for this, I would advise anyone to actually watch Positive Money videos on Youtube on how money is created and what it actually is.
To learn even more about it you can read their book :

Modernising Money: Why Our Monetary System is Broken and How it Can be Fixed

From there, the question you have to ask yourself is what are the strategies I can possibly implement to ensure that money issues do not impact on mental health. If you feel that you are struggling financially and that the issue of money is taking a toll on you, please refer to a GP or a counsellor to help you, talk to your friend and family, keep a diary. Ultimately, you have to find a way to make the issue of money not causing further issues in your being.

I wish you good luck with this. It is only the beginning of the journey to realise that you and everything around you have intrinsic value and it is down to you to recognise it.

Learning the Violin as an Adult

It is now approximately a year and six months that I am learning to play the violin.

I started the violin because my friend and now tutor shared with me her philosophy of teaching children to learn this musical instrument. I was taken by what she shared with me. It resonated because I was experiencing difficult life events at the time, learning the violin appeared to be a potential solution to my problems.

She told me that she teaches the violin through the Suzuki method. Her main role as a teacher and mentor is to help her pupils to deal with and express difficult emotions through music. Learning the violin is hard and going through life is not always easy. Hence, being mentored and equipped with the skills to deal with those difficult emotions are an asset which is not only useful in playing music but also in dealing with difficult life events.

When I started to learn the violin, I was in a dark place. My father had just been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia and I could not find a way to deal with the way I feel. She helped me in many ways in being present in the moment, in focusing my mind, in recognising where in my body I was feeling tension and pain, in focusing on the details to keep going when the overall picture was boring, to accept imperfection and appreciate the little and small achievements.

The road is long til I become ready for full concerto but I must say I revealed to be quite a good player.

Ultimately, learning to interact with an object such as the violin or one direct environment demand full attention. I was distracted by emotions that were not helpful in moving towards my goals. By learning the violin, I became aware of how much distracted I was. I became aware that I was getting distracted because I did not want to deal with difficult emotions in my being. I learnt to reduce distractions and deal with them. I gave my experiences new meanings which ultimately transformed me. I am now present for the better.

How to find inspiration when stuck - blog writing

Here comes the struggle again.
The mind is blank.
You have no idea what to write next.
You are trying to schedule as many blogposts as possible so you can focus on other tasks to do. (inc. ''taking over the world''). So here is my 3 top tips to write as many pieces as you can as fast as possible:

1. - think about your life purpose.
2. - think about your audience and what they need
3. - think about the next tasks you need to accomplish.

Use the blog to define more appropriately each one of them to their utmost details, present the tools that you are using to help you define them further and here you have it. More than enough material to write about.